You know you do it; you hear others do it; it's everywhere; it's negative self-talk. I have yet to meet one person immune to this self-torturing disease. This inner dialog where we put ourselves down for being human is holding us back, keeping us scared, and letting us believe we aren't good enough.
There is plenty of negativity coming at us; why are we doing it ourselves? Update: we aren't anymore. Here are three ways to kick negative self-talk to the curb.
Count how often you do it.
This will be so eye-opening for you. Throughout your day, take notice. "You are an idiot," you muttered under your breath. That's 1. "Well, that was stupid," A thought you had when messed up at work; we have 2. You get the picture here. Mentally or physically, keep count. One friend told me she counted over 35 times in 1 day. 35! Imagine a friend, parent, or partner saying 35 harmful and hurtful things to you a day. You wouldn't keep them around, so why the hell are you doing it to yourself?
Now that you see how much you are doing it, you can improve it.
Get a few close people to join in.
We are more successful when we have others to help us be accountable. Since Negative self-talk is so common, talking about it should be just as accepted. The more I brought it up; the more people would realize they do it or tell me they learned to kick the habit and share how. Involving those around you can help you do better and find ways to help each other because this is a hard habit to break, especially alone.
Create a mantra or short phrase to shake it
Having a witty phrase may be my favorite. One day I was at my desk at an open floor plan office, and I said, "why are you being so stupid," to myself, apparently out loud, which I did not realize. My close friend and co-worker said, "BE NICE TO MY FRIEND KIMBERLY!". I couldn't stop laughing, she was right, and I was caught. That phrase being said ended negative self-talk for me. I heard her saying, "be nice to my friend Kimberly" whenever I would say something mean to myself.
I use this approach with everyone in my life "Do I need to Kick your ass because you are being very mean to my sister?" or "Ummmm, not a fan of how you are talking about my boyfriend!". However you phrase it, the person immediately realizes they are bashing themself, and ahem… Que T-swift, "shake it off, shake it off." Shake whatever made them say that off.
We have enough negative influences creeping in to steal our joy, and negative self-talk will no longer hold us back.
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